A rainy afternoon is fitting for my diabetes situation today. There are days where my diabetes behaves seamlessly;
my blood sugars are as perfect and flawless as a beautiful spring morning with
the sun shining, birds chirping and flowers popping through the soil. Then there are the days where despite my best
efforts my sugars are dismal, disappointing and messy, much like the unexpected
spring showers that bring soggy days and gray skies. Unfortunately, today is the soggy spring
day. Just when I think I have the best
system figured out for treating my diabetes, it’s almost as if my body decides,
“Eh, let’s shake things up a little and piss her off. Here, have a blood sugar of 250!”
I literally eat the same breakfast every day and some mornings
post-breakfast my blood sugar will creep up 100 points, while the next day the
post-breakfast reading will be 10 points from where it was pre-breakfast. I will take the same insulin dosage, within
the same 10-15 minute window in the morning and the numbers can be drastically
different day to day.
Diabetes is so tricky, it is affected by everything. Changes in my sleep will affect it, what time
I wake up will impact it, hormonal “monthly” changes most definitely affect it
and then there is the stress monster.
Stress, no matter good or bad stress causes my sugars to go insane. If I have an argument it is guaranteed to
skyrocket, if I have an interview, skyrocket, planning vacation, skyrocket,
intense exercise, skyrocket, being stressed about my diabetes, skyrocket, living,
skyrocket (it feels that way sometimes).
Is there a way to live a stress free life to obtain optimal
numbers? Is there a way to live a “perfect”
life with diabetes? Will I ever figure
out the mysteries of this disease? The answer is most likely no to these
questions. What I have to realize is
that stress is inevitable and I have to let things go, walk away, count to ten,
get a message, imagine people in their underwear, whatever it takes. I need to remember that while my numbers may
not be perfect, I’ve come a long way and made lots of progress in my care. I have to realize that maybe I’m being too
hard on myself and I just need to ride the glucose roller coaster that is my
life today and be happy that, while not perfect, at least I’ve made it this
far.
~D
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